


Strength To Let It Show

by Deangirl93



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean and Reader talk about each other sexually, Denial of Feelings, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, F/M, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deangirl93/pseuds/Deangirl93
Summary: Y/N and Charlie have a girls’ night in, where Y/N gets drunk and can’t stop complimenting Dean. On their brothers’ night out to the bar, Dean gets drunk and can’t stop complimenting Y/N. They’ve never acknowledged their feelings to each other, and Charlie and Sam are sick of it. They devise a plan, giving them enough time for feelings to be revealed. But will Dean and Y/N take the opportunity to tell each other how they feel?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Strength To Let It Show

**Author's Note:**

> Something angsty and feelsy...

* * *

It wasn’t often that Y/N got to spend some quality girl time with someone. So, when Charlie called, she invited her over to have a girls’ night in a couple of days, while Sam and Dean went out to a bar. She missed Charlie and it would be great to catch up with her.

Dean walked into the kitchen, as he shrugged his jacket on. Y/N stood at the kitchen table and collected ingredients for the margarita’s she planned on making for her and Charlie.

“You sure you don’t wanna come with me and Sammy?” he asked, as he eyed what she was doing.

Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “Positive. Charlie’s going to be here soon with the food, so say your ‘hi’s’ and then out. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Jeez, so eager to get rid of me. Should’ve known you wanted alone time with Charlie for a reason” he teased.

“Dean!” she squealed, as she reached over and smacked his arm.

Dean grinned as he shook his head. “Just kidding, sweetheart. I know you’ve got a big ol’ crush on me.”

“In your dreams, Winchester” she groaned.

She had no idea how right she was about that. Before Dean could respond, they heard the heavy Bunker door open, squeaking loudly.

“Hola bitches!” they heard Charlie call out.

Dean walked out of the kitchen to go meet Charlie. Y/N didn’t follow behind him straight away, as she thought about what he said. He may have only been teasing her, but he was right. She did have a crush on him. More than a crush; she was in love with him and had been since they first met. She just never mustered up the courage to tell him.

They met on a werewolf case, one that Y/N had been handling alone. She had killed it but not before the son of a bitch had scratched her upper arm, deep. The boys found her and insisted on bringing her back to their motel room to patch her up. One look at Dean’s green eyes and she was done for. As he patched her up, he was gentle, caring, and told her stupid jokes to distract her from the pain.

She hunted alone a couple more times after that, but the boys eventually convinced her to join them. That was now 5 years ago. In that time, she and Sam had become close, like brother and sister. She and Dean had become close too, and while she did consider him her best friend, Dean was a lot more, too.

She loved him, but she couldn’t tell him. It was never going to happen, so why should she embarrass herself by telling him the truth?

Y/N walked out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the war room. Sam and Dean were talking to Charlie. There were bags of take-out on the map table. Charlie noticed her come in and beamed.

“Hey!” she exclaimed as she hugged Y/N tightly.

Y/N grinned as she let go. “How was the drive?”

“Shockingly, not tiring. I think I’m finally getting used to driving all the way out here” Charlie replied, starting to take the boxes out of the bags.

“Glad to hear it” Y/N smiled.

“Alright, we got… nachos, tacos and quesadillas” Charlie said, pointing to the boxes.

Y/N hummed as she smelled everything; she couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Alright, we’re gonna get out of here. Leave you two to swap stories, braid each other’s hair” Dean said, checking his wallet and phone.

“Have fun” Y/N said, simply. She looked at Sam, with a pointed look. “That means you too.”

Sam shook his head, a small smile on his face. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Make good decisions!” Charlie called out as the boys walked up the stairs.

“Always!” Sam called back.

Y/N watched as Dean walked through the doorway. The door closed behind them and Y/N turned to Charlie. Charlie smiled as she watched Y/N looking at Dean. She was so obvious.

“Alright, you take a load off, put your stuff away. I’ll finish making the margarita’s and then we can eat” she said, as she picked up the boxes.

“And after the food, you’re going to tell me everything I know you’re hiding from me” Charlie said, knowingly.

Y/N frowned. “What?”

“Don’t even try to deny how you feel, Y/N. I want all the details” Charlie replied, as she picked up her duffle and walked out of the room.

“Great” Y/N mumbled, shaking her head.

She was going to need more than one pitcher of margaritas.

* * *

Dean and Sam walked into their usual haunt, the bar filled with locals and some college kids. Dean took one look at them and scoffed; maybe he could hustle the Abercrombie wannabes later. Right now, he needed a drink. He walked up to the bar where Donny was working.

“Hey guys. Usual?” Donny asked, wiping down the bar.

Dean shook his head, as he sat down on a bar stool. Beer wasn’t going to cut it tonight. “Whiskey first.”

“Jeez, Dean. Starting with whiskey… something’s up” Donny said, picking up the whiskey and pouring a double.

“Something’s always up, Donny” Dean mumbled, as he picked up the whiskey.

Donny poured Sam a double too and slid it over to him.

The boys clinked their glasses together, but Sam watched on as Dean downed it like a shot. He tapped the glass, signalling to Donny for another. He supposed his brother was starting early.

“What’s the plan, Dean? Get drunk before you start flirting?” Sam laughed, taking a sip. Dean usually paced himself through the night in order to be on his game to flirt, so this was unusual. Even for him.

Dean downed another double. “Nope, no flirting tonight, Sammy. Just… forget it.”

“Dean” Donny said, getting his attention. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d said this is about a woman.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Damn bartenders and their so-called therapy. He looked at Sam, who was smiling into his glass.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is about Y/N” Sam smiled, knowingly.

Dean nearly choked on his drink. He coughed a few times, the whiskey burning his throat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, sure” Sam scoffed. “Dean, come on, man. It’s been 5 years of you being crazy about her, ignoring it with alcohol and hook-ups. You don’t think I can see it?” Sam asked, turning on his stool to face Dean.

Dean shook his head. “Shut up, Sam.”

“Gotta say, I agree with Sam on this one, Dean. You guys have been coming in here for 5 years, and every time she’s here with you, you just strategically tell the guys she’s flirting with to fuck off” Donny chimed in.

“You’re both insane” Dean mumbled. “I’m gonna go hustle.”

Dean got up from the bar and picked up his drink. He walked over to the pool table, ready for a distraction. Booze and pool. It would have to do. It would have to be distracting enough to stop thinking about Y/N. That being said, it was a hard task because she was always on his mind. As much as he tried to deny it, he had been crazy about her since the night they met.

* * *

Y/N polished off the last bite of her quesadilla and sat back. She swirled the margarita around, and tipped her head back, drinking it down. Charlie sat in the same position across from her. They had dinner in the library, spreading the food out across the table.

“That was amazing” Y/N smiled. “Thanks, Charlie.”

Charlie nodded with a content smile on her face. “No problem. Man, I’m stuffed!”

“Me too” Y/N muttered. “But I think we can handle a few more marg’s right?”

Charlie laughed. “Definitely.”

Y/N got up and took the pitcher with her, walking out of the library. Charlie followed her into the kitchen and watched as she started putting stuff in the blender.

“So… I wanna ask you something” Charlie said, as she leaned against the doorway.

Y/N looked at her and smiled. “Shoot.” She poured tequila into the blender.

“How long have you been crushing on Dean?” Charlie asked, without missing a beat.

Y/N turned around, a look of shock and confusion on her face. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I saw you checking him out as he was leaving. I don’t blame you, the man is gorgeous, even I can see that” Charlie replied, stepping down into the kitchen.

“Charlie…” Y/N shook her head, not knowing what to say.

Y/N turned back to the blender, putting in some more tequila. She needed it if she was going to deal with more questions about Dean.

_2 hours later_ …

Dean was well and truly drunk, which was a hard feat these days. He was sitting at the bar again, having won a couple of games of pool already. The room had emptied slightly, just a few locals left. Dean stared blankly, his eyes not focusing on anything with a smirk on his face.

“S-She’s s-so fucking beautiful” he slurred, thinking about her. “I love her laugh. She’s hilarious, and s-smart, I mean, s-smarter than me for sure but she’s way smarter than you, too.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

“And she always smells so good” Dean smiled. “Like fruit. Sometimes apples, but most of the time it’s straw… strawberries.”

Sam and Donny looked at each other, trying not to laugh.

“Man, the things I would do if she gave me a chance” Dean snorted, closing his eyes. “Her ass… I hate it when she goes, but I love to watch her leave.”

Dean slammed his hand down on the bar and chuckled to himself.

“Dean” Sam tried to get his brother’s attention, but Dean wasn’t listening.

“She could do whatever she wanted to me, I wouldn’t care what” Dean smirked, taking another gulp of his drink.

“Okay, I think that’s our cue to leave” Sam huffed a laugh, trying to grab onto Dean’s jacket. Dean swung away from him, frowning. “And… she’s just so nice, right? She never says… bad things about anyone. She’s so awesome. She loves everyone and just wants to help ‘em.”

Dean went to pick up the bottle of whiskey, but Donny swiped it before he could reach it. “You’re officially cut off, man. Should’ve done it a while ago.”

Sam took out some money and handed it over to Donny. It wasn’t enough to cover Dean’s pity party, but Donny knew they’d settle it later.

“I’m-I’m fine” Dean hiccupped.

“Dean, come on” Sam huffed, trying to shift Dean off the bar stool.

“She’s amazing… and I don’t deserve her” Dean sighed, looking down at his empty glass.

“Yeah, okay. We’re really going now” Sam said, practically pushing Dean off the stool. He grabbed his arm and hooked it over his neck, leaning Dean’s weight on himself.

“See you around, Donny” Sam said, staggering away with Dean on him.

“Drive safe, guys” Donny called out.

Sam struggled with Dean as they walked out of the bar and towards the Impala. Dean was swaying, and Sam was trying his hardest not to drop him. They got to the car and Sam leaned Dean against the side, making sure he didn’t fall. He reached into Dean’s pockets, trying to find the keys.

“Don’t you think Y/N’s hair is really shiny? I think it’s really shiny” Dean remarked, as he played with the zip on his jacket. “And it looks really good when it’s down.”

“Sure” Sam agreed, without really listening. He tried Dean’s jeans pocket.

“Sometimes though, She puts it up and she looks like a naughty librarian” Dean smirked. “Makes me wanna bend her over one of the library tables-”

Sam got the keys and quickly opened the car. “Whoa, okay. Sit down.”

He helped Dean into the passenger seat, before going to the driver’s side. As he started the car, he looked over at Dean, who had fallen asleep. He laughed a little to himself, before he pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

Back at the bunker, the girls had moved to Y/N’s room. She was leaning back against the headboard, a glass in her hand with no salt around the rim. She gave up on salt half an hour ago. Charlie was lying on the end of the bed, propped up on her elbow.

“His arms are so strong. His lips should be a sin” she sighed, dreaming of the hunter she was in love with. “I bet he’s really good with them.”

“They are pretty great” Charlie had to agree. She may have been attracted to women, but she had to admit Dean was good looking.

“His face is just made for sitting on” Y/N smiled and started laughing.

“Wow” Charlie laughed as she looked at Y/N. “You’re so drunk.”

Y/N ignored that, as she stared at the wall. “And his heart… he just cares about everyone so much. He’s the most selfless person I know.”

Charlie nodded and lightly tapped Y/N’s legs in front of her. Y/N looked over at Charlie.

“You should tell him that” Charlie suggested.

Y/N tipped her head back, trying to catch the last drops of margarita in her mouth. She frowned when there was nothing left.

“He smells so good, too” Y/N smiled. “Like leather and… something just so… so Dean.”

“You’re not listening to anything I’m saying, are you?” Charlie asked.

Y/N giggled. “Nope.”

She laid her head back against the wall, as the alcohol started to make her sleepy.

Y/N frowned as she shook her head. “I can’t tell him, Charlie. What… what would he want with me? He can have any girl he wants. He already has. I’m nothing compared to those girls.”

Charlie took a deep breath as she watched Y/N’s face morph into sadness. “Y/N… you’re way better than those girls.”

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed by what she was feeling.

“Alright, you better sleep it off” Charlie said, getting up from bed.

“No!” Y/N yelled and reached for the pitcher, but Charlie took it before she could get to it.

“You’re done, Y/N” Charlie playfully scolded.

She took the glass out of Y/N’s hand and handed her the large one with water in it. “Drink that, it’ll help with the hangover in the morning.”

Y/N gulped the water down and put the glass on the bedside table next to her. She slipped down on the bed, and kicked her feet up, pulling the sheet up to cover herself. Charlie walked to the door and turned to say goodnight, but Y/N was already fast asleep. She smiled and turned off the light in the room, shutting the door and walking down the hallway. She heard footsteps coming from the other end, before she saw Sam carrying a very drunk Dean. They walked into Dean’s room and Sam carefully let him down on the bed. Charlie walked in without a word and took Dean’s shoes off, as Sam covered him. Dean snored softly as he turned onto his stomach and snuggled into the pillow.

Sam and Charlie walked out of Dean’s room after shutting the door and walked down to the kitchen. Charlie put the food into the fridge as Sam grabbed himself some water.

“How was your night?” she asked.

Sam scoffed a laugh. “I think my drunk brother is the answer. How about you?”

Charlie nodded. “Well, pretty much the same. Though, I finally got her to admit her massive crush on Dean.”

“Yeah, there was a quite confession at the bar on his part, too” Sam said, sitting down at the table.

Charlie shook her head as she crossed her arms, leaning against the counter. “I don’t get those two. I think it’s time we intervene.”

Sam nodded, thinking it over. “Maybe we head out for the day tomorrow. Give them enough time to be alone around each other; see if that works.”

“Yeah. They may even get something else out of their system” Charlie smiled.

Sam cringed. He didn’t need to think about that. “Sounds like a plan.”

He walked over to Charlie, offering his hand. She took it and they shook, firmly on it.

The next day saw Dean and Y/N incredibly hungover. She cursed the tequila and swore to never touch it again, and Dean wondered how he could even still get drunk enough to be hungover. Y/N got up before him at 11am, starting on the coffee. She had no appetite just yet and hoped the coffee would help. There was no sign of Charlie or Sam, so she enjoyed the quiet for a while. She rubbed her hands down her face, as she sat down at the table.

A few minutes later, Dean stumbled in, still in his shirt and jeans from last night. He was wearing his robe over the top and his hair was sticking up in different directions. Suffice to say, he looked adorable.

“You look like how I feel” he mumbled; his voice gravelly from sleep. He walked over to the coffee, after one glance at her.

She scoffed as she took a sip. “Trust me, you look just as bad as me.”

Dean sat down across from her, slurping his coffee.

“Any idea where the other two are?” she asked.

Dean nodded. “Sam sent a message; said they were going to Wichita to see some boring French movie.”

“Man. I wish I wasn’t so messed up right now, I could’ve gone with them” Y/N frowned.

Dean looked at her. He hoped she would be fine with just his company today. “Maybe we could have our own movie marathon.”

He may have been drunk last night but remembered what he said to Sam. Maybe he had to take this opportunity of an empty bunker to tell her how he felt.

She smiled, nodding. “Sounds good.”

After they had both recovered as well as they could, the hunger finally kicked in. Deciding to make sandwiches for lunch, they made their way to the kitchen to make them before they started their Indiana Jones marathon. Y/N took out all the necessary toppings, as they started constructing their lunch.

“I guess we’re sticking to soda today” she laughed.

“I guess so” Dean agreed.

“Hey, can you get the mustard out?” she asked, while he was standing at the fridge.

Dean took out the bottle and held it out for her. Without realising it, their fingers touched as she laid her hand over his.

“Sorry” he mumbled as he put the bottle on the counter.

“It’s okay” she smiled softly, as she went back to what she had been doing.

They ate their sandwiches through Raiders of the Lost Ark but got hungry again ten minutes into Temple of Doom. Y/N quickly made some popcorn and brought into the Dean cave in a big bowl. As they watched, they munched on the popcorn, engrossed in their mutual favourite franchise.

Dean looked over at Y/N, smiling as he saw how invested she was, despite having watched these movies so many times. He picked up a piece of popcorn, flicking it at her cheek. She looked over at him as he looked away, trying not to smirk. She shook her head and looked back at the screen. Dean did it again.

Y/N scoffed as she looked at him. “Cut it out, Winchester.”

“I didn’t do anything” Dean shrugged.

“Yeah, right” Y/N rolled her eyes. She picked up a handful of popcorn and threw it at him.

“Real mature, Y/L/N” he laughed. He flicked some up from the bowl at her, hitting her in the face.

“You’re so annoying!” she yelled. She picked up the bowl and moved it away, pouncing on him.

“Ah! Y/N! Get off!” she yelled in frustration as she started messing up his hair.

They started to playfully fight, Y/N trying to tug his hair as he tried to grab her hands and keep them away. He reached up and tickled her neck, causing her to scream and laugh uncontrollably. He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest.

“Dean, let go” she laughed, trying to free her hands.

“Never” he smirked.

She saw the twinkle in his eye, but there was something more behind it. His look did something to her, a tingle running through her body.

She stopped laughing as she looked down at him. With her Y/H/C flowing, she looked so beautiful to him. He saw something in her eyes, something that resembled what he was feeling. A deep desire; something he had kept buried until now. Maybe, just maybe… he had a shot.

She had to stop this. Y/N knew that as much as she wanted to see what happened, she couldn’t. She couldn’t handle the rejection. Just as quickly as the desire in their eyes shone through, it was gone from hers. She pushed herself away from him, his hands falling away from hers. Dean felt his hope fizzle out.

“I’m still not feeling so great, I think the tequila’s still making me foggy” she laughed slightly, downplaying what just happened.

“Yeah, um…” Dean muttered, not knowing what to say.

“I think I’m going to go lie down” she said, trying not to let her sadness show.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I’ll clean up here.”

“I’m sorry. I can help-” she started but he cut her off.

Dean got up from the couch, as far as he could from her. “Nope, I got it.”

Y/N flinched as he moved away. “Okay” she whispered.

With one last look at him, Y/N walked out of the room. She made it all the way to her room before she let the tears shed, that she had been holding back. She threw herself on her bed, muffling her sobs with her pillow. She knew this was how things would end up between them. Awkward with no chance of moving forward into something new and exciting. She never should’ve fallen in love with Dean.

Dean swept up the popcorn, cursing himself internally. He had read the signs wrong, clearly. She wasn’t interested. She never would be.

They both knew that denying their feelings, as they had already been doing for the last 5 years, was the only thing they could do to protect themselves. That’s what you had to do as a hunter.

Even when you wished for the strength to show your feelings, you had to bury them.

It was easier that way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos or a comment, I'd love to hear what you guys thought!


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